Everyone my age is settled. What is wrong with me?

Settled is a presentation. I have sat across from a great many people who look settled and are quietly counting the years until they can stop.

The feeling you are describing, that everyone received instructions you did not, is close to universal and almost never discussed, which is exactly why it feels like a personal defect.

Ask one person you consider settled how they actually feel about their work. The answer will recalibrate you faster than anything I can say.