Everyone my age is settled. What is wrong with me?

Settled is a presentation. I have sat across from a great many people who look settled and are quietly counting the years until they can stop.

The feeling you are describing — that everyone received instructions you did not — is close to universal and almost never discussed, which is exactly why it feels like a personal defect.

Ask one person you consider settled how they actually feel about their work. The answer will recalibrate you faster than anything I can say.